“My life talking to me” (Pt. 1)

January 11, 2018

Do you remember the conversation we had about love?
How special it was?
What it meant for your mother?
Do you remember being a boy, No!
Because there are no boys around here,
Only men who have not yet been broken.
Do you remember 7 years old?
Being asked by your mother to protect her.
Do you remember her blood on the front porch,
Walking by it every morning before school
Reminding you of your failure.
Do not cry, I'm only asking you for your memories.

Do you remember our conversation about Love?
What it meant to the woman you laid with?
How your 20 year old face looked 13 years younger
When you failed to protect your seed.
You talk about growth but do you even know what that means?
You've been the same ball of pain for all these years.
Does growth not mean change?
Does your reflection show you anything different after all this time.
Do not cry broken man/boy I'm only asking you for your memories.

If you remember our conversation about love
How could you think it was for you?
How could you think it was yours?
If it was never yours how could you give it to someone else
Your own father couldn't even give it to you.
I am your life, and I give you pain.
You cannot wed a woman
Because you are married to sorrow,
It is yours to have and to hold til death do you part
And even death may not be able to part this union
You thought you could run? Ha!
When you were welcomed into the world,
Trouble was waiting for you at the door.
You can yell too as many audiences as you like
But they will never hear you
You can tell them your hurting...
And they will clap
You can tell them how damaged you are
And they will call it powerful.
You can explain
And they will say they understand
You can cry 
And they will watch your tears
And one day... when you are gone,
They will cheer.